Matrimonial ad for gay son stirs lively debate

New Delhi, May 24, 2015: When Mumbai-based Harish Iyer's mother Padma placed a matrimonial advertisement in a Mumbai tabloid for her gay son, she never thought it would generate a debate across and outside the country. Dubbed the first gay matrimonial ad in India, Padma was able to get it published only after being rejected by a few leading dailies. Iyer, a well-known gay activist, was shocked when the ad was turned down by some mainstream newspapers, which he felt always covered LGBT issues extensively and stood with them on many an occasion. The ad reads: "Seeking 25-40, well-placed, animal-loving, vegetarian groom for my son 36, 5 11' who works with an NGO caste no bar (though Iyer preferred)." Speaking to IANS, Iyer said, "The decision to place the ad came after a series of discussions between my mother and grandmother since they want me to settle down. I did not want a separate matrimonial section for the gay community. It came as a shock when newspapers I approached turned down the advertisement. It is shameful to see the Fourth Estate, which professes equality and human rights, behaves this way." A few newspapers also told Iyer that they would publish the ad if he changed "groom" to "life partner", which he refused to do. Though one media house clarified why the ad was rejected on legal grounds, activists felt this only confirms that homophobia is deep-rooted in society. "Newspapers carry ads of massage parlors and many things which they aren't supposed to. This is a result of the prevailing homophobia," Delhi-based queer rights' activist Pramada Menon told IANS. The gay community is worried that the Supreme Court's December 2013 verdict, retracting a Delhi High Court verdict of July 2009 decriminalising homosexuality, has worsened the situation. The high court verdict had come as a huge relief for the gay community as it received support from civil society. It also helped many to come out of the closet.